June 2016

​Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn’t want to live there.

“A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.” ~ Groucho Marx

At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

“Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest” ~Mark Twain

Goals are deceptive. The unaimed arrow never misses.

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND – the fault is with reality.

I didn’t believe in reincarnation the last time, either.

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

Back off! You’re standing in my aura.

Illiterate? Write for help!

As scarce as truth is, the supply exceeds the demand.

I like the way your mind malfunctions.

How do I know you’re not one of them?

Does the noise in my head bother you?

Everyone thinks I’m psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.

Error #1511: Brain Offline.

If at first you succeed, hide your astonishment.

Be an optimist–at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Kennedy.

Against stupidity, the gods themselves struggle in vain.

Old enough to know better, but still young enough to try and get away with it anyway.

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

I haven’t lost my mind, I have it backed up on disc somewhere…

As King Arthur said: Some days it all seems so feudal.

Irony: The tortoise has a drag factor of .03.

Don’t confuse an open mind with one that’s vacant.

“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors—and miss.” ~Robert A. Heinlein

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust..

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” ~Mark Twain

<– May 2016

July 2016 –>