March 2016

Failure isn’t falling down, it’s not getting up again.

Change is inevitable; progress is optional.

My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The last time I was at his house all the signs were there.

I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, then it struck me.

“When I’m good I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.” ~Mae West

“Last night I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got in my pyjamas I’ll never know.” ~Groucho Marx

Been reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

“Between two evils, I generally like to pick the one I never tried before.” ~Mae West

Beyond each corner new directions lie in wait.

“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.” ~ Robert Heinlein

“I intend to live forever, or die trying”

“I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.” ~Mae West

Keep the dream alive! (Hit the snooze button!)

“I have never been able to see life as anything but a vast complicated practical joke, and it’s better to laugh than cry.” ~Robert Heinlein

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” ~Groucho Marx

“Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.” ~W.C. Fields

Gravity always gets me down.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.

“Die, my dear? Why that’s the last thing I’ll do!” ~Groucho Marx

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.” ~Mark Twain

“Hell, there are no rules here – we’re trying to accomplish something.” ~Thomas A. Edison

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

“There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.” ~Robert Heinlein

No life is totally wasted, one can always be a bad example.

Clones are people two.

“When women go wrong, men go right after them.” ~Mae West

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

“An ideal form of government is Democracy tempered with assassination.” ~Voltaire

“Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.” ~W.C. Fields

“Butterflies are not insects. They are self-propelled flowers.” ~Robert Heinlein

My job at the concrete plant seems to get harder and harder.