May 2016

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from. Then it dawned on me.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re ok now. 🙂

When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot?

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

Meandering to a different drummer.

“I intend to live forever, or die trying.” ~ Groucho Marx

Everything is edible, some things are only edible once.

“About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.” ~Herbert Hoover

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

Mole problems? Call Avogadro: 6.023 E23

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

​”Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.” ~Groucho Marx

Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

The real trouble with life is there’s no background music.

Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.

You, you and you: panic. The rest of you, come with me.

I was born weird — this terrible compulsion to behave normally is the result of childhood trauma.

If only there was some indication that the universe was doing it on purpose.

I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.

I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…

I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to…

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

If we don’t protect freedom of speech, we will never know who the assholes are.

A volcano is a mountain with hiccups.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Resistance isn’t futile, it’s voltage divided by amperage.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

<– April 2016

June 2016 –>